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Life Update March 2014

Well, there’s good reasons I haven’t been posting for Make it March or Meat-Free March. Life seems to be falling apart at the seams, and the various holes are all mauling into each other.

Let’s start with work life.
– There’s the personal problems of being complained about for being bossy/aggressive/assertive when all I felt I was doing was retreating safely because I knew I wasn’t feeling good. That sort of knocked down the confidence I had in being friendly and trusting people.
– I’ve just had a major, 6 months into, weekends worth of work, project failure. It could be resuscitated, but at this point my manager and boss aren’t sure. I’m working this job on a three year timetable, and a 6 month set back is pretty major.
– Telling my boss I was diagnosed with Bipolar II seemed to open my floodgates for telling other people. And now I feel like they are constantly giving me help because they pity me. I cope just fine most of the time. Why did I tell anyone? Why?

Next, home life.
– DMH is still not helping with house hunting. I keep looking, but weirdly enough, buying a block of land is pretty much as expensive as a house. I really just want my own home! Ugh. Of course all the rest of my family sees only the negatives of moving out with KK.
– GD had an angry morning at KK today. KK didn’t eat breakfast or lunch yesterday, then was grumpy about it. So when KK was sort of stuffing around at breakfast, GD just lost it! And then KK vomited up breakfast because of the upset.
– KK will play with anyone but me if someone else is home. I don’t see KK often due to work, and damn it, I want to play.

Jeeze. I should have saved all that for a FFS Friday post. I still have saved some! There’s personal life and the actual impact it’s having on my well being. Maybe tomorrow.

Is everyone having a better time than me this month?

Published inGoalsHouseMental Health

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